Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Growing Pains

"The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat fall into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." (John 12:24)

Growth is often painful.  Just ask my ever-expanding uterus.  Better yet, travel back a few months to pregnancy week ten.  The rapidly multiplying cells creating the biological framework of our unborn daughter were causing nausea, vomiting, and exhaustion like you wouldn't believe.  Now entering into the third trimester, stretch marks are quickly taking over my "mushy" areas, and my fingers are too fat to wear my wedding ring.  I told my husband he needed to quickly find a cheap replacement ring before some other guy tried to "snatch this hot thing up".  He chuckled, and I was offended.

The symptoms of pregnancy are uncomfortable, but any textbook would remind us that these are part of the natural process of life forming life.  Pain and discomfort are just part of the deal (thanks, Eve). And it's not just pregnancy.  Drew and I led a neighborhood parish for over two years before recently stepping into a new role at Sojourn.  During those years, our parish multiplied three new parishes. As I look back over that time, I'll be the first to confess that spiritual multiplication (making disciples, multiplying parishes and planting churches) might be more painful than physical childbirth.  I'm only 7 months pregnant so the jury is still out on this, but suffice it to say, the Fall has not only affected our God-given purpose of multiplying offspring throughout the earth.  It has affected our spiritual fruitfulness as well. 

When sin entered our world, the blessing of bearing fruit and multiplying upon the earth became hijacked by pain, bitterness, anxiety, loss, and death (Genesis 3).  Even still, it has always been God's desire to reconcile His people back to himself.  Despite our failings, He promises that He will love, bless and multiply His people (Deuteronomy 7, Jeremiah 30).  Why?  Because it is our fruitfulness and our multiplication that most clearly displays His glory in the world (Matthew 13). We cannot produce life in and of ourselves, and we are utterly dependent on the grace and mercy of our Savior to produce that life within us.   This has been given to us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.  He suffered, knowing that the joy set before him was worth the price that had to be paid (Hebrews 12, Philippians 2).

After His resurrection, Jesus leaves us with the command to "Go therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you" (Matthew 28).  This is no easy task.  It hurts to walk with someone through the mud and the muck only to have them turn away in search of fleeting pleasures.  Its uncomfortable when we send our friends out to build a new community for the sake of the gospel, being left to rebuild from the void they left behind.  Its awkward to make new friends with people you have very little in common with, people you may not have handpicked to love. 

But, friends, it is worth it for us to press on in the task we have been given.  We know that sin and death don't have the last word (1 Cor. 15:54-55; John 16:33). Therefore, we can follow the example given to us in Christ, putting to death our sin which always seeks the path of least resistance. By grace alone, we can even rejoice in our discomforts and momentary afflictions because our God is a restorer and a redeemer of all things!  He chooses to use us, a broken people, to proclaim His glory throughout the nations! So then, I can bear the pains of childbirth knowing that the pain will be nothing but a shadow once we meet our daughter.  Likewise, we can bear the temporary tears and daily discomforts of making disciples because we look forward to seeing the lost set free from the bondage of sin.  We wait anxiously and press on to see the gospel go forth into the dark places of our city.  As we say often at Sojourn, may the Lamb receive the reward of His suffering in Houston.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us" (Romans 8:18)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Be Thou My Vision: Suffering with Eternal Perspective

Standing before the door of her hospital room in the ICU, the familiar sounds of the machines and the hustle of scurrying feet faded to a whisper.  I hesitated, took another breath, and stepped forward, surrendering to an adventure that would leave an eternal mark upon my already bleeding heart. 

Eight months went by.  Sent home with hospice care, she laid in her bedroom at home.  For over a year, this beautiful 16 year old fought a rare, aggressive form of cancer.  We prayed together and asked for healing.  We pleaded for comfort.  We cried out for peace in the midst of great suffering.  After a 27-hour surgery, as chest tubes were placed into her sides, as doctors came in to give her difficult news, we prayed.  I wept for her.  I pleaded with God to heal her.  But now she was dying. 

Lord where is the victory in this? I took a breath, held her hands, and began to pray.  Helpless and completely inept, I searched for words and found none.  All I had to give was His love.  Praise God there's an endless supply of that. 

Our culture views death as defeat.  When a person dies of cancer, we say they've "lost their battle."  But I've witnessed the victory in death (1 Cor. 15:50-58).  I have seen that, for those who bear the marks of great suffering, wounds become the greatest rewards.  Through the prayers of a dying teenager, I saw what it looked like to walk courageously through the battles of life, persevering even in the depths of suffering.

Jesus healed people with all kinds of diseases and ailments.  From the demon-possessed to dying children, the scriptures are clear that Jesus was a healer.  These are great stories of wonder for those on the mountaintop, but to those in the valley of the shadow of death, these stories seem to chastise rather than calm their weary souls.  What about me? You healed them, but now you watch me suffer, refusing to stop the pain. 

These were the questions I wrestled with as I watched child after child fight against the horror of childhood cancer.  I watched families pour their hearts out to Jesus like the man in John 4 whose son was dying.  I could not understand why he would heal in the Bible, but not today.  My questions threatened to embitter me until he opened my eyes to the truth revealed in His word:

The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and all who dwell in it. (Psalm 24:1)

Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven you', or to say, 'Rise and walk'? But that you may  know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins, I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home. (Luke 5:17-26)

I began to see that physical healing, as we see in the gospels, was not an end in itself.  Every person Jesus healed eventually faced the reality of death. He raised Lazarus from the dead, but eventually Lazarus' body went back to the grave.  In our fallen world, our bodies break and wither.  We are "subjected to futility" (Romans 8).  And what is true of our earthly bodies is also true of our souls. Bound by sin, we cannot save ourselves from the penalty of death. 

But Jesus entered into our broken world.  He restored earthly bodies to show us that he can also restore sinful hearts.  Our God did not merely come to heal our bodies.  He came to set us free from the bondage of death forever!

Now in putting everything in subjection, he left nothing outside his control.  At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him.  But we see HIM, who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone (Hebrews 2:8-9)

Things aren't always what they seem.  My occupation as a pediatric oncology nurse wasn't merely about administering chemotherapy and changing out puke buckets (although there was plenty of that). It was a calling to step into a world of brokenness.  And as Christians, that's what we do.  We willingly enter into suffering with others, taking with us the truth that heals forever.

Are you suffering? Keep seeking.  Keep asking.  Keep knocking on the door.  Our Savior suffered on our behalf to set us free from death so that we might find rest even in the greatest depths of pain and suffering.  We hold to the truth that our God has given us promises to make us new and bring us out of darkness into light.  May the Gospel be enough for us, and may the Lord give us ears to hear and eyes to see our world with an eternal perspective!

"So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

All Things New

"The old has passed away; behold the new has come! All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the ministry of reconciliation.  Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us." (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)

As we say at Sojourn, we do what we do because we are who we are, and we are who we are because of what Jesus has done.  We have discussed how, through the Gospel, Jesus brings sinners out of darkness, giving them a new identity as they trust Him, follow Him, and place their faith in Him.  However, this transformation doesn't end here.  Our effectiveness in proclaiming the Gospel to the world around us will be intimately connected to who we are in Christ.  A new identity naturally results in the birth of a new person with a new purpose.  God makes us into an entirely new creation. Jesus calls sinners to give themselves up so that, as He makes us new, the world around us is made new as a result.

The story of the Samaritan woman in John 4 is a beautiful illustration of this truth.  Prior to meeting Jesus, this socially marginalized woman had not lived up to the moral standard of the day.  But Jesus approaches her nonetheless, and the conversation quickly becomes an issue of identity: "How is it that you a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?" This woman was as an outcast due to her gender and her race and, as Jesus points out a little later, her many husbands.

Jesus' answer is extraordinary: "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink', you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.'"  In effect, Jesus tells the woman, "If you knew who I am and what I have come to do for you, it would change everything.  You would approach me because you would know who you are in relation to who I am.  You would beg me for what I've come to give you."

As the woman's identity is uncovered and laid bare before the Lord, she slowly begins to recognize Jesus for who he is.  And what happens as a result?  According to Scripture, she leaves her water jar and runs into the town, telling the people to come to Jesus. This is the same woman who went to draw water during the heat of the day because, due to her moral failures, she could not bear the shame of going with the other women. In a matter of minutes, her shame and guilt turned to confident, faithful evangelism!  And many Samaritans from that town believed in Jesus because of the woman's testimony: "They said to the woman, 'It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world."

This story shows that faithful mission begins with a humble surrender of ourselves, a sober understanding of who Jesus is, and a continual reminder of the gift He has brought to us.  Our identity fuels our evangelism.  If we're honest, we likely have more in common with the Samaritan woman than we'd like to believe.  Thankfully, our identity is not found in what we have done, what we currently do, or what we plan to do in the future.  In the Gospel, we see that we're more flawed and sinful that we could ever dare imagine, but at the same time, we're more loved and accepted than we could possibly hope.  This truly changes everything.  

When we recognize who we truly are because of what Jesus has done, the Gospel cannot help but fall from our lips.  When our identity is established by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, we begin to, through the Spirit, reflect his character to the world. Missional living is the natural result of a life surrendered to Jesus, the spring of living water welling up to eternal life.  May we be a people who beg of the Lord to "give [us] this water," and may it overflow into the lives of those among us!

"And He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" (Revelation 21:5)


Saturday, February 23, 2013

Bikes, Beauty, and Black High Top Nikes

When I was in middle school, I was a bit of a tomboy, a reality that was often reflected in my clothing.  My go-to outfit was an over-sized t-shirt, gym shorts, and black Nike high tops.  On picture day, much to my mother’s delight, I decided to wear a shirt that didn’t have a picture of a basketball or a Hanes tag.  Forsaking my usual attire, I confidently set out to school on my red Huffy bicycle.  As I rode past a school bus stop, I heard an older girl exclaim, “Doesn’t that girl know it’s picture day?!  Look what she’s wearing!”  Laughter erupted from the entire group.

In the grand scheme of things, this was an insignificant incident but what was said that day about my physical appearance was powerful enough to nearly crush me.  While riding the rest of the way to school, it took everything I had not to crash my bike or cry off all the mascara I had clumsily put on myself.  And six weeks later I had a shiny, wallet-sized reminder on my parent’s fridge!

 Fast-forward 15 years and I often find myself battling the same issue: finding my worth and identity in physical appearance.  Sure it looks different these days, as I’ve learned to craftily conceal it and make excuses on its behalf, but it’s the same root in the soil of my heart.  The truth is that naïve 12-year-old on a bike needed a savior just as much as this 27-year-old woman does today.

 When I catch myself entrenched in this heart battle, a multitude of thoughts run through my mind in attempts to modify my behavior.  Maybe you’ve heard them before?

“Take down your mirror!”

“Tell yourself you are beautiful!”  

 “Just stop thinking these thoughts!”

How can I stop this cyclical pattern of self-obsession when all of the solutions revolve around me? As much as I try to will myself into changing, it's never enough.  Heart change, at the core of it, isn't about behaving- it's about worship.  Scripture is clear that a heart cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).  The effects to bowing down and worshiping false gods are devastating.

So let's blow the whistle on this form of misplaced identity and call it what it is.  Believing that your worth and identity is found in how you look externally a lie.

 The only weapon strong enough for this battle is a savior.  In Christ, we find the standard for beauty and the answer to our heart’s cry for approval.  Scripture is absolutely littered with his loveliness and splendor.  All of our effort and money and fuss are a waste of time when Jesus isn’t the focus.  Precious Jesus is always the point, and through the Holy Spirit, we are able to repent of our fruitless pursuits of perfection in our physical appearance. Regardless of how you perceive yourself externally, you reflect God’s image no less.

 On a practical level, I am no match for the pursuit of youth; it is inevitable that I will age.  Physical perfection is not within my grasp, and it is a reality that my outer self is wasting away.  But because of His love for me, God is faithfully shaping me from the inside out (how undeserving am I of this?).  My pursuit of being beautiful should compel me to try and radiate beauty from a heart hidden in Christ- to become a different kind of beautiful that has nothing to do with what I put on my body.  This requires a radically different definition.  It demands me to lower my love of self and replace it with the true beauty of all that Jesus is and has done.

 But it doesn’t end here!  The good news of the gospel replaces the lies we’ve feasted on with truth.  It frees us from the exhausting chase of beauty.  The gospel tells us that although we have nothing good apart from Christ, we are fully loved, approved of, and accepted in Him.  He sees us in our sin- our envy, our self-centeredness, our idolatry and calls us beautiful in the blood of His son.

 Looking ahead we can place our hope in the truth that we are being prepared for a day when we are no longer consumed with vanity or self-loathing, a day when Christ’s beauty completely captures our affections and intentions, instead of a pursuit of our own temporal satisfaction.  But can we live in that future glory now?  Can we seek to let the gospel inform our worth and identity today?

 Let’s remember that God, the creator of beauty, has considered you righteous because of the work that Jesus has done on the cross.  As we humble ourselves in light of this truth, let’s plead with the Lord for our hearts to desire His glory, and not our own.  May the good news of gospel be ever so sweet and beautiful in our hearts!

 “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!”   Psalm 115:1

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Put On Your New Self

"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God... Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge, after the image of its creator." (Colossians 3:1-3, 9-10)

Christian identity seems to be a popular topic these days.  And rightly so.  There's an identity crisis warring within us, but we don't often recognize the problem.  Ultimately, the truth about who we are is so much better than the lies we settle for.  So let's ask:  who are we, really?

We're quick to forget who we really are.  And as a result, we define ourselves by a million things other than who we are in Jesus:  our sin, our shame, our struggles, our jobs, our relationships, our kids, our stuff, who we used to be, who we want to be, who we wish we were, who others wish we were... the list goes on.  Many of these identities are clearly destructive, but the problem goes deeper than the objects that define our identities.  Adam and Eve couldn't blame the apple.  Their sin came from within their hearts.  And when we crucify the object of our idolatry, we miss the root issue:  we're defining ourselves.

In Isaiah 44, we see a carpenter fashioning idols from a piece of wood. The man cuts down a tree and uses half the wood to build a fire.  Not only is he kept warm, but he roasts meat and is satisfied from hunger.  From the other half of the wood, he forms an idol and worships it, saying, "Deliver me, for you are my god!"  So half the wood turns to ash, and half the wood becomes a god.  Ridiculous!  "He feeds on ashes; a deluded heart has led him astray, and he cannot deliver himself or say, 'Is there not a lie in my right hand?'"  Women, how often are we deluded in our understanding of who we are?  We must learn to recognize the difference between the truth and the lies that hold us captive!   Let's plead with the Lord to reveal the lies as they really are, and let's pray for the faith to believe the truth about who we are in Jesus.

In trusting Christ for your salvation, you willingly forfeit the "right" to author your own identity.  But this is not something to mourn or fight against.  This is good news!  God says you're a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:21)!  You were dead, but you've been made alive.  You wore filthy rags, but you've been spiritually clothed with Christ!  You have the mind of Christ, and His Spirit dwells within you.  You are His, and you are IN Him.  You are now an integral part of His body.  You're no longer struggling to portray a pretty (albeit, false) identity to the world.  You're no longer bound by your history or circumstances.  You're no longer held captive by your guilt and shame.  You have nothing left to prove.  It is finished!  Your identity has been secured, and you need only look to Jesus (the true Author) to discover who you are.  As He told his disciples in Matthew 10, "Whoever finds his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Do we still struggle with sin?  Yes.   Do we still tend to forget who we are?  Of course.  But we must be reminded often of the truth.  Through God's living Word, through the powerful work of the Spirit, and through the teaching, loving, and rebuking body of Christ, we are reminded who we are and Whom we worship.  This changes the way we live, the way we work, the way we view ourselves and others.  It changes how we serve and how we love.  It changes our worship!  Beloved, you are IN CHRIST.  Let that be enough.

"But that is not the way you learned Christ! - assuming that you have heard about Him and were taught in Him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:21-24)